CD1

Yup, CD1 again. Not long after I posted I started spotting and it has continued through to AF. I kind of got upset at first, a little. But I am much calmer this time. I don't know what has happened the past couple of days but I just kind of...I don't know...relinquished the control. I might be ready to stop charting, stop drinking business juice, etc. Not because I am giving up but more so because I just feel different...I can't explain it. It's a strange kind of calm. I like it. I am not "trying to relax." I'm not saying necessarily "it will happen when it happens." Its more of...it's up to God. It's not up to pomegranite juice, green tea, or what ever other things I can come up with. If it were I would already be pregnant by now. God has a plan. I can't be mad at that. I can't change that.

It's going to be okay.